I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
