I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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