areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you guys were way drunker than both of me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
