Who did Billy Mays play for?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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