The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
