Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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