And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
