No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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