Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you traded sex for a burrito?
my shit smells like andre
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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