so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
