I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it because I queefed?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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