Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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