I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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