just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
