you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
