Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
