***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
