the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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