remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
