didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
