Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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