the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My breasts were aching with rage.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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