So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
