Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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