Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
