I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
