My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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