How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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