I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
