I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
