guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
