So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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