wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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