dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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