ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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