just come out here and I will go home with you...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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