That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
