i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
