shes about as inviting as chlamydia
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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