how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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