Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
