so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
