my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
