eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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