im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize