google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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