Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
