Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
