when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
