It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
