Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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