He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
