This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
