He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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