Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
