Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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