its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
