We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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