Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
