I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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