What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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