billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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